Saturday, May 27, 2006

Dear Knitters

I am coming to understand something.
I hate ribbing.

After viscerating a hat* nearly a dozen times (pattern from Caps and Hats Two, Vogue) I believe I have figured out the sequence of K4, P4. Of course, if it were only that simple! No, no, knitwits, we must make sure they ALIGN properly, and don't add any stitches while we're at it. My eyes have gone cross with staring at 'v's' and 'bumps'. Michael has been relegated to cleaning out the garage while I repeat my rosary aloud: "KNIT (one) KNIT (two) KNIT (three)..."

I suppose I am beginning to understand the rite of contrition with all this. There is a somber, meditative quality to praying aloud to the Knitting Gods. However, that peace is blown when I get to the end of a row and it doesn't match with the last. So back I go, casting on all 106 stitches again.

This is the first time I've worked with Noro's Silk Garden yarn. I've heard rave reviews about this stuff. I don't know if it's my needles, my taut yarn, or my grip on the slack but I HATE THIS STUFF. It seems far too stiff. Not forgiving.

All is well, dear knitters. When my eyes extricate themselves from their sockets, I will simply put this hat down and go back to the Mohair shawl. It's much more mindless and soothing.

For now, though, I leave you with my mental mantra...
(PURL one PURL two PURL three PURL four)

*hat: a loosely defined term for approximately four rows of knitting that took Fritz over two hours to achieve.


Blogger Stuntmother said...

AH HA HA HA AHA HA AHH! I LOVE IT! My fuzzy balls! That's killing me. You are going to take the knitblog world by freaking STORM!

I reverse engineer HTML with very limited success. A lot more free time would help but I have none because if I do I am KNITTING! Ah ha ah aha hah!

Sorry -- I'm slightly crazed with the sudden arrival of summer in Philly and the fact that I'm working.

We will provide you with all your fibrous heart desires. And we will get you through that capelet and we will wear them together and drink coffee!

11:52 AM  
Blogger FRITZ said...

Stunts: This blog will pale in comparison to your or any other knitter's because I'm too busy knitting to write/read/think of anything else.

I cannot wait to get good at this and do pictoral essays and whatnot. Meanwhile, I'm glad I've not offended you with my blog title.

It's just that all the other cute cliches were taken, dammit. I had to be original.

6:06 PM  

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